Behind the Smile

"I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh, I want to hold you high and steal your pain away" - Seether ("Broken")

Somebody smiles, so that you they're happy. Not usually. How many times do you have somebody smiling, but seen sadness equipped eyes?

I plan to explore what really lies over due the smile. Not simple, but I think an important thing to understand in order to make sure that the people actually truly are happy. I believe that a person's eyes function as the key to how you can purchase truly feels. When I concentrate on my wife's eyes, I see love and happiness - most of the time. I look into my wife's eyes a great deal, she has such exquisite eyes, I've thought so since the moment we met. They frequently are full of adversity, others they are bursting with adoration. At times nonetheless, looking into her eyes I can see that she is worried. That is when his love and happiness have already been replaced. That's not to convey that she is unhappy, or that she doesn''t love me, it implies that something, somewhere inside her is holding them at bay. It means she can be involved or concerned about something which, troubled. I can see straight away - the sparkle and peaceful light that is normally there has gone, in favour of dull vacancy (in a great way! ) that means her mind is elsewhere.

9 times out of 10 when I ask my spouse if she is all right, or what the the event that is, the reply I am aware is "I'm fine". I know that's not true. When she is ready and has experienced her thought process, she will tell me what is being troubling her, and it is possible to discuss it. This helps procrastinate out there and could be sort the troubles aside, once that's done I realize the sparkle return facilitate her eyes, they light up and become vibrant. She smiles, and the sides of her eyes crinkle, and i know the smile which i see is genuine. In turn, the sparkle returns to myself, and my smile is genuine - because when my spouse is troubled, then so are we, but when she come with smiling, my smile joins in.

But what however the people on earth, who have to spend their days alone? Their smiles behave as genuine, right? Maybe some of them, but in the UK 12% just like the adult population will feel depressed in any year (think along with it, that's 4-5 people when you hit it every full bus) add to this how a UK has the highest annual percentage rate self harm in The european union (400 per 100, 000 of the population) and then think about the children - 10% of whom will feel depressed at some point in their childhood. These are scaring statistics, and all also helps in explored in future pieces of art. But we are doing research smiles - i am trying to show would be the fact on average 1 in 4 a person who show a smile are no longer feeling it on the inside.

We see comedians, do make us laugh. In order to do that they must be amazing people, always happy on the inside, life and soul of the party etc. Not accurate! So many great comedians are often manic depressives - Stephen Be deprived of water, Tony Hancock, Jim Carrey - but how come?

A joke: Man goes to doctor. Says he's stressed out. Says life seems rough and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening abides, where what lies this is vague and uncertain. Doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini can be found in town tonight. Go and discover him. That should pick out you up. Man bursts into tears: "But doctor... I am Terrifini. "

Sums it all together. The reason I bought up the comedian thing, is because they exhibit the 2 extremes - on stage in front of the camera, they are shiny and funny, but off duty they are miserable. They put a front on once they turn into their change ego, "Funny Man"! A lot of people do this. They add a front on and don't allow their true feelings surface. Maybe they are professional people, who don't wish to share their personal feelings if you think maybe they just like fighting sad. I have personal experience of people who are bi polar. When you see them they are energetic and happy smiley - all the memories and soul - but the smile is just a front, inside they hail anxious, unhappy that they are by themselves. This is the same be they 20 or 50 - nobody wants to be alone.

So, how would you bring the smile out in someone? That's not a simple one to answer. It depends what makes the person smile. For some people its a ridiculous face, it could even be a joke, it could even be a reassuring smile from people, it could be was built with a comforting arm and legal contract, it could be allowing them to have space to contemplate whats troubling them or maybe a sympathetic non judgmental ear. Listen to whats troubling she or he and offer words of each one comfort. If its someone you know who's alone, then let them know that they aren't - just knowing, although you don't share their home, you share their dining and their smiles and so they need someone then you are just a call away. Evey one is different, and you need to take work around this have the ability to cheer somebody up. A manic depressive can not be cheered up though by all of this, they need understanding. You have to go with the flow with manic depressives, enjoy the high times, and know about low times. I am notoriously difficult to cheer up, once my smile has gone its not there for a long time. My wife has learned that I need space to think about, at the same procedure as her reassuring gestures, and genuine sparkly smiling eyes showing me your girl loves me - with this combination the smile soon returns to me and I come based. For this understanding I feel eternally grateful, and never have I been so far understood.

With children its hard - you know when your child is actually unhappy. You need to learn why. They may choose a teacher they don't since the, they may be have to bullied, they may have conditions they don't understand or don't know how to deal with, they may feel yourself like nobody understands. You need to be sympathetic and understanding, remember how you were if you possibly could were young - leave them about this in their own attention. When they've had hours, approach them gently asking open questions that will help them understand, get earlier it. Give them a number of years, occupy their minds on this fun things - allow your child to express exclusively, and by the time they go to bed hopefully they will make a change smiling real smiles. If your child is a teenager, you know if they are most open to not telling the truth approached and talking. Allow them to strop, let them can be bought moody, and when they get to the point that you know is openness (it is the next day) approach them allowing it to them talk - turned into a non judgmental ear. Enable them to sort things out, you will not only get closer, but the smile will be back in their eyes, the eyes that once they were born you gazed into and made connection with. Keep in which connection there, and be a conscious parent.

Smiles linger, long after the happiness has gone. Smiles remain, where contentment doesn't. These are the laughs of fiction - so called "reception smiles" - a smile that is there durable inner turmoil. The eye betray the smile, and the inner turmoil shows comes from. So next time you look into the eyes of somebody you like, look and ask yourself are those truly happy? If you believe not, then just remind them that you are there for them - a mild touch, a smile, a friendly gesture, remind them your ear and mind are open to receive. The rewards you current are infinite - happy your loved ones with sparkling happy concern, who bring out the actual happiness in you. If your eyes flicker then so will those of the individual around you. Reward your self, by smiling a good smile!

(C) Copyright Dale Preece-Kelly February 2010

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